


Smooth Operator

by KyloTrashForever



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack Treated Seriously, Deplorable Dudeslut Poe, Dirty Talk, F/M, Hux/Rey Friendship, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Phone Sex, Phone Sex Operator Kylo Ren, Praise Kink, Secret Identity, Tutor Ben Solo, Tutoring, Unresolved Sexual Tension, excessive dirty talk, oblivious Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-06 02:33:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: “Do you know what I think?”Her voice is a breathless shadow of what it normally is. “What do you think?”“I think secretly you just wanted to call. Maybe you needed a little bit of, ah,interaction.”She swallows. He says interaction, but she hearsgood old-fashioned dicking. She can’t exactly deny the need for either one.“I didn’t,” she argues. “I just wanted a refund.”Hanguphanguphanguphangup.“Tell me what you’re wearing, Kira.”In which an erotic hotline is thelast thingRey would ever be interested in—so why can’t she stop calling?





	1. A Little Bit Of Interaction

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy this is cracky and porny and it makes me giggle.

* * *

“Why don’t you just go talk to him?”

Rey snaps her head to her right, taking in Armie’s knowing look. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been staring at the tutor for most of the class.”

“I have _ not.” _

“Rey,” Armie laughs. “He’s sitting in the back row, all by himself. It’s very obvious.”

“Is it really?”

“Well, okay, maybe it only is to me,” he offers. “But I know your pining face.”

“I don’t have a _ pining _face.”

“Don’t worry, it’s really cute. Like a doe-eyed chinchilla who’s just had a stroke.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Now, now, don’t resort to that. I’m sure we can find you a straight dick.”

She rolls her eyes as she begins to pack her books away. “I swear to God, I’m dumping you.” 

“You can’t dump your friends.”

“Watch me.”

“I’m only trying to help you. Just go talk to him.”

“I can’t just go over there and talk to him.”

“Of course you can. Unbutton the first few buttons of that cardigan, and march over there.”

“We both know unbuttoning my cardigan is going to do nothing.”

“You can at least create the _ illusion _ of having breasts.”

“I hate you _ so _ much.”

“_You’re _ the one who keeps talking about being sexually frustrated.”

“No,” she huffs. “I said I don’t have time to date right now.”

“I hear no difference between those statements.”

She sneaks another glance toward the back of the class, watching the tutor in question unfold himself from the nearly too-small chair in the back row. He’s always back there, doodling in his notebook. Rey heard it was a requirement that he sit in on the class even though he’s already taken it, being the designated tutor for the course. 

“I don’t even know his name,” she mutters lamely, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“That’s sort of the point of conversation.”

“_Armitage,” _she chides, reserving his full name for times when he’s being a particularly insufferable little shit. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. He’s the tutor. I can’t flirt with him.”

“Oh for the love of God,” Armie scoffs. “He’s not a professor or anything. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You know the rules.” She clicks her tongue. “No tutors.”

She unwittingly flicks her eyes back in his direction. She can’t deny she’s been staring at him for awhile now—and it’s crossed her mind more than once what his name might be, or what he smells like, and even maybe what he looks like under those Henleys he favors. 

He’s moving past her row of desks now, and she could say something, it would be _ so easy— _but still she just stands lamely near her desk, finally shaking her head and reminding herself he’s off limits.

But Armie has other plans.

He gives her a little shove, not enough to trip her, but enough to make her miss the little step down from their row—and she nearly vaults into this human fridge of a man, colliding with his moving figure. He looks startled at first, before his hand moves out instinctively to steady her, and she gapes up at him with an open mouth, scrambling for what to say. 

“Sorry,” she croaks. 

Not figuratively, the word _ literally _ comes out like some sort of caged bullfrog. Nothing like her normal voice. She tries to follow up with a more intelligible _ tripped _explanation—but now her vocal chords have decided that it might be fun to mimic a field mouse, and it comes out as a squeak. 

He gives her a befuddled look, then a heavy nod, and then his large hand helps her straighten before he carries on his merry way. 

She turns on her heel, giving a death look towards her ridiculous best friend, and his expression is more than apologetic. 

“What the fuck, Armie?”

“My bad,” he offers ruefully. “I didn’t mean to nudge you _ that _ hard… but you were about to let him get away!”

“Well, now I look like a moron.”

“A cute moron, though.”

“I hate you.”

Armie sighs, looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

* * *

She does think about the tutor more than she cares to admit. 

He’s tall, tall enough that he has to duck a little when he enters a room. She thinks about that little ducking movement a lot more than she would like. Maybe it’s because his hair looks like he’s been running his fingers through it. Maybe it’s because his hair looks like it could use _ her _ fingers running through it. Don’t even get her started on those deep brown eyes or that fucking _ mouth _she can’t stop staring at. Men shouldn’t have mouths like that. 

She wonders if she really _ is _ just sexually frustrated. It's been an incredibly busy semester, and she _ has _had quite a dry spell, admittedly. 

Maybe she just needs to bang it out of her system.

Armie plopping down into the seat next to her takes her by surprise. “His name is Ben Solo.”

“What?”

He steals a fry from her tray. “The tutor. His name is Ben.”

_ Ben. _

She tests the word in her mind. She likes it. It suits him, somehow. “So?”

Armie’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“I told you, he’s the _ tutor. _Off limits. It doesn’t matter.”

“God, have you ever broken a rule in your entire life?”

“Not that I can remember, no.”

“That makes me incredibly sad. Let’s go break into a vending machine. Something. Anything to make this less sad.”

“Shut _ up.” _

He sighs dramatically. “Fine. I guess I’m going to tell you about plan B.”

She stills, straw dangling an inch from her mouth. “Plan B?”

“Yes. I have a good number of options here to solve your woefully neglected vagina.”

“Please don’t talk about my vagina. We’ve talked about this.”

He waves her off. “I refuse to let you experience another day of a… Did you really say it’s been _ six months?” _

“_Shh.” _She whips her head around to make sure no one is listening. “Why don’t you put it on a fucking billboard?”

“You’re wound tighter than a ten day clock, babe. You need to let loose a little.” He pulls out an actual _ notebook, _ and she grimaces when she sees he’s taken _ notes _on the matter. He furrows his brow as he leans over to read. “Tinder?”

“Negative. Creepsville.”

“I met Poe on Tinder.”

“I stand by what I said.”

Armie rolls his eyes. “He’s not _ really _a… What was it you called him?”

“Deplorable Dudeslut.”

“What does that say about me?”

“I stand by what I said.”

He huffs out a breath. “Fine, _ fine. _ No Tinder. What about _ match.com _?”

“I’m not looking for a husband,” she grimaces.

“Farmersonly?”

She makes a face. “Is that an actual thing?” 

“So fucking picky. What about—”

“_Armitage.” _Twice in one week? That has to be some sort of record. “Look. I appreciate you making my lady parts your sole responsibility, but I’m really okay. I promise. Things will be better after I get through midterms. Just… let it go. Okay?”

He pouts, his full lower lip protruding even further. “I just wanted to help.”

“And I appreciate it, but I’m _ fine. _I promise.”

She doesn’t like the look he gives her, because it promises that he is decidedly _ not _letting this go—but he goes quiet. For now, at least.

“Whatever,” he grumbles. “I’m going out to a movie tonight with Poe. Do you want to come?”

“Negative,” she says immediately. “The last time I went, you were practically giving him a handjob in the theater seat.”

“That’s not fair.”

“How is it not fair?”

“We thought you couldn’t see. It was dark.”

“We really need to talk about boundaries, and what you do and do not deem unfair.” 

“Fine. Suit yourself. I’ll call you later?”

“Sure.”

He leaves her then, and she returns to her lunch, decidedly _ not _ thinking about Tinder or theater handjobs—most _ definitely _ not thinking about a certain hot tutor that looks like he could _ thoroughly _take care of her dry spell for her—

No. _ No. _

Off limits. Definitely off limits. 

But the semester _ is _only a few weeks away from being over… 

She shakes her head, brushing away those errant thoughts and telling herself not to worry about that right now. She has plenty of time to fix her little dry spell. _ After _midterms.

* * *

Her phone goes off at exactly fifteen minutes past ten, and she is only half-surprised to see that it’s Armie’s name flashing across her screen. The half that she musters up is solely because she expected him to be in Poe’s bed until morning—not because she has any other friends that it might be. Unfortunately. 

**So I think I have another solution.**

She groans before tapping out a reply.

_ I don’t want a solution. We talked about this. _

**Hear me out. You don’t even have to meet up with someone. **

_ What? _

**So. Poe told me about this business he’s been running underground.**

_ Underground? Like in a basement? _

**No like u n d e r g r o u n d. Like a secret. **

_ I’m telling you right now, I am not interested in some sort of college-level prostitution ring. _

**Poe would never!**

_ I stand by what I said. _

**Ugh. Listen. Okay. So you heard the rumors about the phone sex ring on campus?**

_ No. _

**Okay well… apparently… Poe runs this phone sex thing on campus. **

_ I’ve heard the rumors. I meant, no, I’m not interested. _

**Don’t be like that!**

_ What on earth would make you think I would be remotely interested in this? And why the fuck doesn’t it surprise me that Poe is involved with that? _

**Because you’re a 21yo with a basic functioning vagina that hasn’t been used in six months. I can’t speak for the other, I think it’s very resourceful of him. **

_ You would. Also, not that it’s any of your business, but just because I haven’t been with a dude doesn’t mean it hasn’t been used. _

**Okay but don’t you miss a little human interaction? **

_ There’s no way I’m letting some dudeslut sex talk me. _

**It’s anonymous!**

_ I’m not paying for that. It’s stupid. _

**Don’t worry I already bought you a 3-block session.**

_ You did WHAT? _

**I thought one might not be enough. **

_ One is too many. Also, he made you pay? _

**Well he doesn’t do it by himself. He can’t just give out freebies. Don’t worry. It’s fine.**

_ It’s anything but fine. _

**Just call this number.**

She stares at her phone with an open mouth as he sends her a toll free number, then following with her code to type in to be connected. She’s gearing up to call Armie and yell at him for yet another gross overstep—when he shoots her a follow up.

**It was $100. So like. Yeah. You wouldn’t want to waste my money, would you?**

_ I’m going to. _

**I know you. You HATE wasting money. **

_ I’m not calling a ragtag porn line! _

**Poe says it’s legit though! Fake names, no questions, they do any scenario you’re into.**

_ I don’t even want to know how this got off the ground. _

**Listen. I’m not going to mention it again. Just know it’s there.**

_ I’m not saying thank you for this. _

**You will. Maybe. ;) **

She tosses her phone to the comforter, covering her face in her hands to stave off the burning flush there. Armie has always been a little ridiculous, but _ this. _ Does he really think she would do something like this? Not _ everyone _ is so hard up for human sexual contact that they would resort to… _ these _types of measures.

She hates that she’s thinking about the money Armie spent. He’s right about that at least, she _ hates _ wasting money. Absolutely _ hates _it.

But she can’t do _ this. _

Maybe she could get a refund? If it’s so legit, surely there has to be some sort of person running the money side of things, keeping up with payments and such. She picks up her phone to glance at the number, chewing at her nail as unease courses through her. 

_ You’re just calling to get a refund. It’s fine. _

She settles back against the pillows at her bed, taking a deep breath as she dials the number and pressing it to her ear as it begins to ring. It does so twice before prompting for her code, and she frowns as she hangs up and tries again, trying to find some sort of operator. Nothing. Only a curt prompting for an access code. She growls in frustration, tapping the stupid code in quickly as she brings the phone to her ear again. 

It takes only seconds for an answer.

“Hello.”

_ Oh. _ That’s… something. She’s stunned for a moment as the echo of what can only be described as a human _ purr _passing as a greeting lingers in her ears—unable to answer for a good handful of seconds before he repeats it. 

“Hello?”

She clears her throat. “Yes. Hi. I was trying to reach an operator.”

“There are no operators.”

“There has to be some sort of business office.”

He laughs a little on the other end, and it’s warm and sensual and it heats her right up. “There isn’t. Maybe you have the wrong number?”

“I don’t think I do. Isn’t this—” She lowers her voice considerably. “Is this the secret phone line?”

She thinks she can hear him smiling, his voice an equal whisper that does nothing for the racing of her heart that it elicits when he answers, “Yes. It is.”

“Okay… but you don’t have some sort of secretary I can talk to?”

“Sorry. Your code brings you straight to me.”

She huffs out a breath. “Well, I need a refund.”

“No refunds.”

“What do you mean no refunds?”

“It’s pretty self-explanatory.” She makes a frustrated sound, and he continues. “Why would you want a refund? Did you have a bad call before this?”

“No,” she scoffs. “I had _ no _ call. My friend bought me a thing, and I don’t want it.”

She hears him hum in thought. “Why don’t you want it?”

“Because it’s silly.”

She thinks he might deliberately be lowering his voice. “Why do you say that?”

“Because—” She’s _ not _thinking about what a guy with a voice like that would look like. “Because who signs up to talk dirty to someone for money?”

“Are you making implications about my character?”

That’s a pretty well-formulated sentence for a sex talker. “No, um, I didn’t mean—”

“Do you know what I think?”

She doesn’t care what he thinks. She’s going to hang up the phone. To hell with what Armie paid for. 

That’s what she thinks at least. What she says is something altogether different. Her voice is a breathless shadow of what it normally is. “What do you think?”

“I think secretly you just wanted to call. Maybe you needed a little bit of, ah, _ interaction.” _

She swallows. He says interaction, but she heard _ good old-fashioned dicking _. She can’t exactly deny the need for either one.

“I didn’t,” she argues. “I just wanted a refund.”

“Tell me what to call you.”

_ Hanguphanguphanguphangup. _

“Kira.”

Her eyes are on the copy of _ The Lion King 2 _that sits next to her entertainment center on the other side of her bedroom, and she wonders if Disney would have something to say about her perverting one of their characters.

“Kira.” The way it rolls off his tongue sort of makes her wish it _ was _her name. “I’m Kylo.”

“You really don’t have a business office?”

“Tell me what you’re wearing, Kira.”

Fucking shit. He’s really dedicated to this, isn’t he? Hang up the damned phone, Rey. Hang it _ up. _

“What are _ you _wearing?” She tries for sarcasm, but it comes out a little shaky. 

“I’m not wearing anything,” he answers warmly. “I was hoping you’d call, after all.”

_ Did this smooth motherfucker really just— _

“Good one,” she manages. “I assume you’re touching yourself, too.”

“Maybe a little,” he rumbles. “I’m still wondering what you’re wearing.”

“A fuzzy pajama onesie. Makes me look like a unicorn.”

“Mm,” he hums. “Do you know what I like about those?”

“That they’re complete boner-killers?”

“That they’re _ very _easy to take off,” he answers.

She swallows hard around the growing lump in her throat. “And who says you’d be taking it off?”

Why is she still on the fucking _ phone? _She finds herself in a constant state of wondering what he’ll say next. The growing wet spot in her underwear seems to be in complete agreement. 

“How else would I get my mouth on you?”

Her mouth goes a little dry. The way he says it… like it’s the only thing he wants to do. Like he’s not some random stranger, but someone who _ knows _ her _ . _ Someone who’s thought about _ nothing _but getting their mouth on her. 

Kylo is… very good at this. 

“Y-your mouth?”

“I think that’s where I’d start. My tongue on you. I bet you have pretty tits. Do you, Kira? Do you have pretty tits?”

_ They’re a little small, actually, but he doesn’t have to know that. _

“And if I do?”

“I want to get my mouth on them. I want to suck at those pretty nipples until I leave a mark.”

Jesus _ fuck. _ She’s going to break her phone if she keeps gripping it like this. What is she _ doing? _

“You do?”

“Mhm. I want you to squirm for me first, I think.”

_ No problems there, buddy. I’m like a fish in a barrel here. _

“You think you can make me?”

He laughs lowly, the sound filling her up and going straight to her cunt. “I know I can, sweetheart.”

_ Sweetheart. _

God, that’s like crack. She kind of wants him to say it again. She doesn’t think she could hang up now if she wanted to.

He’s still talking.

“Can you do something for me, Kira?”

She bites her lip. “What?”

“Can you tell me how wet you are right now?”

_ Tell him to fuck himself, _ some rational part of her brain screams. _ Hell, by the sounds he’s making he might be already. Just tell him to—no, _ no— _ what are you doing? Get that hand back here! Do _ not _ reach under your shorts to— _

“Enough to coat my fingers.”

“Good girl,” he sighs. “You’d have to be good and wet to take me.”

_ Didn’t she just want a refund? _

“Take you?”

“I don’t know if that little cunt is ready for me just yet.” Her brain short-circuits a little, but he’s not done. “I’m going to stretch you _ so much,” _ he breathes. “I can’t wait to be inside you. Can’t wait to fill you _ up.” _

She actually _ whimpers. _ “Oh _ God_.”

“That’s it. That’s my good girl,” he coos. “Are you touching yourself, Kira? Are you teasing that little clit for me?”

She bites her lip, making some sound of either pain or pleasure, she isn’t sure. Because she _ is _ now. Touching herself, that is. How could she _ not _ be? She’s throbbing, and that’s not a pun. Her cunt feels like it has its own heartbeat, and he isn’t even _ touching _her.

“Mhm.”

“Good. So good for me. Are you dripping for me now?”

She makes a sound, something like a whine, but it’s not enough for Kylo.

“Answer me,” he grated out, his own breathing harsh and rough and is he touching himself too? “I want to hear how wet you are.”

“Dripping,” she manages. “It’s all over my sheets.”

“If I were there I’d catch it with my tongue,” he hums. “Would you like that? Would you like me to lick you there? Shove my tongue deep inside until you’re full of me?”

“_Fuck.” _

Her eyes are shut tight, her fingers working her clit _ roughly— _and there’s a rush of blood in her ears that almost drowns him out. Almost makes it hard to hear his low encouragement and his breathless teasing. 

But it’s there, whispered words of _ good girl _ and _ just like that _ ringing in her ears and she’s _ soaked _ now and her legs are _ trembling _ and he’s still _ talking _and—

She lets out a choked wail when she comes, trying to bite it back only to manage an obvious moan that’s loud even when stifled. She hears him still whispering little words of praise, and she stares up at the ceiling, trying to catch her breath and wondering what in the fuck just happened.

“You sound so pretty when you come, sweetheart,” he purrs.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, her embarrassment starting to creep in. Does she just hang up now? “I should... go…”

“Hey, Kira?”

Her heart pounds wildly in her chest. “Yeah?”

“...do you still want a refund?”

She hangs up the phone, tossing it so far away it nearly falls off the bed. 

What. The. Fuck.

* * *

She can tell Armie wants to ask about it, but to his credit, and true to his word, he doesn’t say a damned thing. She’s beyond grateful, because she’s pretty sure if anyone even _ mentions _the word phone to her, she’s going to melt right into a mortified puddle. 

It’s been two days since that night, and she won’t pretend she hasn’t thought more than once about the fact that she has two more sessions. It both terrifies and delights her, knowing that—because even though there is _ no possible way _ she will be calling that number ever again, she can’t stop thinking about that low voice in her ear. She hears _ sweetheart _ in that _ fuck me _voice ghosting through her thoughts at least a dozen times a day, and she catches herself straining her ears for the owner as she walks around campus. Surely they go here, right?

Not that it matters. 

She will _ not _ be actively looking for a phone fucker to try and make him into a _ fucker _fucker. She won’t. She definitely won’t. 

She’s distracted from what is becoming a normal thought process for her by the sound of her professor quietly asking to see her after class, and she promises to catch up with Armie in a bit as she makes her way between the rows. She moves for her professor’s office, wondering what in the hell she could have done and quickly following in after him as he shuts the door behind them.

She gives him a nervous look. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s about your last quiz…”

_ Oh, no. _

“Was it bad?”

He makes a face. “It wasn’t… good.”

She blows out a breath. Econ is not her.. greatest subject, but she’s managed to keep a passing grade at least. 

“I’ve been really trying,” she offers.

“I know,” he says kindly. “But I worry you’re not going to be able to pass midterms at this rate.” She hangs her head, sighing, and he presses on. “I would like to suggest you connect with the class tutor. I have his email here, if you want it?”

Her heart does a funny thing in her chest. Hot tutor? She is not mentally prepared to connect with hot tutor. Not so soon after having been made to orgasm to the sounds of phone fucker Kylo. 

“The tutor?”

“Yes,” the professor answers. “Ben Solo. I’m certain he can help you prepare for midterms. Shoot him an email, won’t you?”

She nods dumbly, taking the little scrap of paper from him and quietly offering her thanks as she leaves the room. She stares down at the little scrap for several seconds before letting out a sigh, trying not to think about hot tutor or phone sex extraordinaire—telling herself to focus on her grades. 

She shakes her head as she stows it in her pocket, pushing delectable men and voices far from her mind. 

For now, at least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never called an erotic hotline, and I know nothing about them, so just go with it. (But if anyone could get one off the ground for a college campus it would be Poe HotDameron.)


	2. A Sure-Fire Cure for Boredom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLLOOOO!  
I posted chapter one when I was still a week or so out from the end of my hiatus so I’m so sorry I was too busy to answer comments, but I am back in full swing now. I read them all and they made me so happy. Bless you perverted little angels.

**From: ** **bsolo@chandrilla.edu**

**To: ** **rjackson@chandrilla.edu**

**Subject: ** **Tutor Session**

Rey, 

I don’t normally tutor outside of my usual library sessions, but in light of your work schedule I don’t mind coming by your dorm when you get off Friday. I don’t have plans. I’ll be by about seven. 

Sincerely,

Ben Solo

* * *

Rey glances at her open laptop for the dozenth time that evening. She reminds herself that it was necessary to have him come by her dorm instead of meeting in a public place like he normally does. Her handful of odd jobs keep her more than busy—and it’s actually a miracle that she has a night off to meet him at all. 

Still, she can’t help but feel nervous, now that the time for him to show up has finally arrived. She’s cleaned her room twice over, straightened her desk, made sure the little jack-and-jill bathroom she shares is nice and tidy—but still she feels a flutter of nerves in her belly. 

She’s trying to tell herself it’s _not _because the quiet tutor is distractingly good-looking. That it’s _not _because she can’t help wondering if he would even fit on her bed if he were stretched out on top of it. Of course, _not _thinking about that in particular leads to _not _thinking about what he might look like without those Henleys and _not _thinking about what his hair might look like after she’s run her fingers through it a few times and—

Yeah. Definitely _ not _thinking about any of those things. 

Her phone begins to buzz against the top of her desk, drawing her out of her anxious thoughts. She snatches it up hastily, frowning a little when she sees it lit up with Armie’s name. She considers for a moment letting it go to voicemail, but she knows that to _ not _ answer will only result in him calling about eight more times until she finally caves and picks up.

She sighs as she swipes her thumb across the screen, pulling it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Are you having sex yet?”

She closes her eyes and purses her lips. “I’m hanging up.”

“No, no, no!” 

“Did you have a reason for calling?”

“What a way to treat a friend,” he huffs in mock indignance. “I just wanted to see where your head was at. Have you obsessively cleaned your dorm room?”

She eyes the immaculate space that is usually less so. “Maybe.”

“It was so smart of you luring him back to your dorm instead of the library.”

“I didn’t _ lure _him here,” she grumbles. “This is the only thing that worked with my schedule.”

“Sure, Jan.”

She hears a knock at her door then, and her heart picks up a little in her chest. Jesus Christ you’d think she’s never been with a guy before. Not that she’s going to _ be _ with him or anything. It’s just tutoring. _ Just _tutoring. He’s off limits. 

She wonders how many times she’ll need to remind herself that. 

“I have to go,” she tells Armie quietly. 

“Is he there? I didn’t even ask what you’re wearing yet! Did you drag out the little black thing that you—?”

“Goodbye, Armitage.”

She hangs up the phone quickly, wishing a little that flip phones were still a thing so she could get a little more satisfaction from it. Another knock sounds against her dorm room door, and she has to swallow her nerves as she smoothed her now-sweating palms down her jeans. 

_ It’s just tutoring, _she reminds herself. 

She takes a deep breath before reaching for the door handle, undoing the lock and turning the handle as she wrenches it open.

_ For the love of all that’s holy… _

Did he somehow get taller? She swears that these door frames are shrinking. He fills up the entire _width _of it_. _And holy fuck hair, Batman—his dark locks are pushed back in some sort of artful wave that suggests he spends a lot more time on it than she does her own hair—but it somehow just _works _for him. She’s struck with a visceral urge to mess it up for him. Suddenly hit with the desire to tug and tease—maybe as he’s breathing a little hard against her ear and—

_ Get a grip, Rey, _

“Hi,” she chokes out. 

What is it about him that makes her not able to speak properly?

He gives her a nod paired with a polite smile. “Can I come in?”

She frowns a little, some vague memory of _ something _ trickling through her mind, some thread she can’t quite grasp—but it’s gone as quickly as it comes. She pulls the door wider (she fucking _ has _ to with this human giraffe that’s built like a brick shit house), and he steps inside while glancing around her space with curious eyes.

“You keep your dorm a lot tidier than my apartment,” he chuckles softly.

She feels a little embarrassed by her neurotic cleaning tendencies then, mumbling out a flustered _ thank you _before closing the door behind her. 

She clears her throat, trying to speak in a tone that _ doesn’t _ sound like a seizing parakeet. “I appreciate you coming by outside of your normal schedule.”

He turns to look at her for a moment, his brow furrowed in thought, but the expression passes just as quickly as it comes before he answers, “It’s fine. You’re not the first one I’ve bent the rules for.”

She doesn’t know why she feels a little disappointed about that. It isn’t as if she thought he was giving her some sort of _ special treatment _or anything. 

Except she had a little. Maybe.

_ I mean it, Rey. Get. A. Grip. _

“Do you have the worksheets I sent?”

“Oh.” She rushes to her desk to pull out the papers she’d printed from his email. “Yeah… I filled them out. I’m a little stuck on the J-Curve. I don’t get it. Economics is based on prediction, right? Who cares if we can see it after the fact?”

He laughs a little. “You’re right. It’s a little confusing. I can explain it a little better.” He gestures to her desk chair, and she has to brush past where he’s standing to reach it. She’s still a little tentative as she settles into her chair—even more so when his large hand curls over the back of it to let him lean in. “Can you show me what you have?”

A little shiver runs up her spine, his deep tone so close to her ear again filling her with _ something _she recognizes that is just outside of her grasp. 

“Sure,” she mutters, spreading the papers out in front of her. 

He watches her work quietly, as she settles each of the printouts, as she opens her laptop to find her notes—all the while keeping quiet but never moving from just behind her in the chair. 

“So, what’s your major?”

“Engineering.”

“And you took Econ?”

“My advisor told me it would be good to consider this as a minor so I could get a feel for the business side of things.”

“Ah.” He nods appreciatively. “That makes sense, I suppose. Do you have Holdo or Ackbar?”

“Holdo.”

She turns her head to catch him grinning. “She and my Mom are old friends. If she says it’s a good idea it’s definitely advice you want to follow. She’s a sweetheart, Amilyn.”

Rey goes still. Her mouth falls open, her heart pounding in her ears and her throat suddenly too tight. 

_ Sweetheart. _

She hears the word stand apart from all the rest, so close to her ear that it practically _ caresses _ it—and suddenly she knows exactly why his voice feels so familiar. It’s impossible, it makes _ no sense _ —but with that one word she is _ absolutely _positive that she’s spoken to Ben Solo before this session. 

...and in the very worst way.

Panic unlike anything she’s ever known fills her. The thought of him realizing that she is Kira—that she came to the sound of his voice only a few nights ago—it’s _ mortifying _ to even think about. But she’s sure that he and Kylo are the same person—she doesn’t think she’ll forget his guttural _ sweetheart _murmured roughly in her ear for as long as she lives. 

Her spine stiffens as she becomes somehow even _ more _ aware of his voice and his enormity and just _ him—_and as he leans over her to point out something on her worksheet, as he murmurs quietly about why she got the answer wrong—the only thing she can think about is how long his fingers are. What they might look like if he used them to touch himself—something he’d told her he’d done while whispering filthy things in her ear. 

Suddenly she has no idea how she is going to survive these sessions.

* * *

She’s an absolute mess an hour later when he’s getting ready to leave.

She’s barely said a dozen words to him—her patterns of speech reduced to tight nods and short, clipped answers that barely sound like her. He probably thinks she’s some sort of nutcase with the way she is acting, but it’s hard to focus on J-Curves when she’s so preoccupied with D-Curves instead. Not that she imagines his dick is curved or anything. Whatever. 

“I think you’re grasping it a little better now,” he’s telling her. “What do you think?”

_ I think I’d like to grasp it a _ lot _ better. _

She shrugs nonchalantly. “Sure. Loads better.”

For the life of her she can’t decipher why he would do what he does. He’s quiet, almost _ reserved _ —nothing like the person she spoke with on the phone. Nothing like _ Kylo. _

“Will you be able to make the library session next time? They’re on Tuesdays and Thursdays at four,” he reminds her. 

“Ah… I work in the campus library on Tuesday and Wednesdays, and every other day I work at an auto garage downtown until six.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “A garage?”

“Yeah,” she chuckles. “I get that a lot.”

“No, no, that’s cool,” he assures her. “Just not what I expected.”

“Because I’m a girl?” She’s teasing mostly, she’s used to this sort of reaction after all, but the way he immediately shakes his head leaves her a little confused.

“You’re just so pretty,” he says quietly, his cheeks flushing instantly as if he can’t believe what he’s said. “Oh, wow. That’s even more sexist, isn't it.”

She can’t help but grin at his flustered behavior. Which in turn brings her back to _ how are Ben and Kylo the same person? _

“Thanks,” she answers shyly. “I appreciate it, anyway.”

He scratches at his neck, looking down at his shoes that she’s just now noticing are big enough to use to row across an ocean. There’s absolutely no way Ben doesn’t have an _ enormous— _

_ He’s your tutor! _

She takes a steadying breath, trying not to think about the filthy things she can still remember him saying. “But it’s completely fine if you can’t keep coming by. I could email you my questions?”

He shakes his head again. “No, I don’t mind. How’s Monday? Same time?”

She beams back at him. “That would be amazing.”

He leaves with a quiet goodbye, and as soon as she shuts the door behind him she finds herself resting her forehead against the wood as confusion courses through her. She can’t seem to reconcile the two people together—thrown off by Ben’s quiet manner and his polite smiles that are nothing like the _ would you like me to lick you there _fuckery that was Kylo. 

She shivers all over just thinking about it. Imagining Ben with his big hands and his even bigger body murmuring those things to her—_ here _—not over the phone but right here in her dorm. Maybe even while she’s pinned underneath him on her bed that he won’t even fit in… Fuck. 

It’s a lot to take in. 

Maybe she’s made some sort of mistake after all. Maybe she’s just _ imagining _ the way he sounds so similar. It has been three days since she spoke with Kylo, and Ben certainly didn’t recognize _ her _or anything. 

_ Well you _ do _ have a bad habit of sounding like a squashed kitten when he’s around. _

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to double check. She has two more sessions left… If she were only calling to _ confirm _his identity… Not that she would be engaging in any of that earlier nonsense… 

She wrestles with the idea for a long while, finally checking the clock to catch the time. She remembers Armie telling her the number only works after ten, which leaves her an hour to talk herself out of calling. Because it’s silly, she thinks. There’s no way that Ben could be Kylo. She has to be imagining things. They’re just so _ different. _

There’s absolutely no reason to call that line. 

Not a single reason at all.

* * *

She makes it to seven minutes after ten before she impulsively scrolls through her call log to find the number Armie had given her. She digs the code out of their previous messages before she sits against the wall on her bed, pulling it to her ear as it rings. Her heart pounds like a drum inside her chest, and she tells herself _ over _ and _ over _that once she has some sort of confirmation she will hang up and never call it again. 

But then he answers, and it’s like warm chocolate pouring through the phone—that deep _ hello _that in itself makes her tingle all over. 

She clears her throat. “Is this Kylo?”

He makes a little humming noise that she feels down to her toes. “Is that who you’d like me to be?”

She keeps her voice just a little deeper than she normally would, throaty even. “Don’t be coy. Is this Kylo?”

He chuckles softly. “It is… And what should I call you?”

“K-Kira,” she manages, already fully aware without a doubt in her mind that this is the same person she spoke with just over an hour ago. Even if he sounds like he invented sex now. “We’ve talked before.”

“Ah, I remember you. The girl who wanted a refund and left more than satisfied.”

_ Hang up. You got your proof. Hang up the fucking phone. _

Fuck… does he have to sound so… _ good? _

“Don’t let it go to your head,” she scoffs. “Everyone gets lucky sometimes.”

“And yet you’re calling back.”

“Maybe I was bored.”

“Mm, I know a sure-fire cure for boredom.”

“Just because you got me off once doesn’t mean you can do it again.”

“Is that a challenge?

_ Why does this perverted motherfucker rob you of all sense? _

But she can feel it happening again. Feel every last bit of her good sense flying out the window with just his words. And now that she knows that he is also the person she’s been dreamily staring at for weeks?

It’s harder now, to keep her tone lower. Especially with how breathless she’s becoming. “It might be.”

“Oh, I really like a challenge, Kira,” he says in that way that’s practically a purr. She feels it straight down between her thighs. “I wonder how well you can follow instructions?”

She can hardly breathe with the tightness of her chest. “Instructions?”

“Mhm. Tell me, Kira. Do you have anything there besides your hands?”

She feels some mixture of embarrassment and overwhelming horniness flood through her. “...like toys?”

“Yes.”

Her eyes drift over to the little nightstand by her bed, biting at her bottom lip. Again she wonders why she hasn’t hung up yet, and yet some part of her _ knows _ she couldn’t, even if she actually wanted to. She doesn’t know why Kyl—_Ben _ has such a hold on her, but she’s more turned on than she’s ever been in her entire life, and she seems physically _ incapable _of not doing what he asks.

“I have one.”

“One will do. I want you to get it for me.”

She hesitates for a moment this time, but only _ just _ a moment before rolling over to blindly reach inside her drawer for the little hot pink vibe. She grabs it before her nerves get the best of her. She holds it in her hand awkwardly, staring at it for several seconds as that voice that screams _ what are you doing _seems further and further away.

“Do you have it, Kira?”

“Yes.”

“Describe it for me.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I want to know what the toy looks like.”

She swallows thickly. “It’s… pink. Bright pink.”

“Is it lifelike?”

“Are you asking me if it’s dick-shaped?”

How is it that even his _ laugh _is sensual? “Yes, Kira. That’s what I’m asking.”

“It is.”

“That’s good. That’s _ very _good,” he coos. “I want you to strip from the waist down.”

“How do you know I’m not already?”

“Are you?” His voice rumbles with interest. “Did you get yourself nice and ready for me this time Kira?”

“_No_.”

Another soft laugh. “That’s what I thought. Get it off. Right now.”

A shiver passes through her at his forceful tone, and again she wonders how in the _ hell _this man could be the same person as the quiet and shy tutor who had been in her dorm. She would like to blame her current state on curiosity alone—but something about him has made her like this since the moment she first heard his voice. 

She presses the phone between her ear and shoulder, dropping the vibe to the top of the bed as she shimmies out of her sweats and underwear. She would laugh if she weren’t so horny—she’d really thought this wasn’t how this would end if she called again? She’s not only weak, but a liar as well.

“Okay,” she breathes.

“You’re so _ agreeable _for someone who had such strong opposition to this service.” 

“Shut up and keep talking,” she rasps, not wanting to think about her own hypocrisy right now.

“Be patient, sweetheart.”

_ Oh, God—that’s the good stuff. _

She makes a sound of protest only to be met with his quiet chiding. “If you’re good for me, I’ll be good for you. Understand?” She’s nodding, hardly registering that he can’t in fact _ see _ her. “Tell me you understand, Kira.”

“I understand,” she breathes.

“Good girl. Turn on the toy to the lowest setting.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

She hits the button, begrudgingly tapping at the setting button just below a few times as it goes from a steady buzz to a softer vibration.

“Okay. It’s on low.”

“Are you going to do _ exactly _ as I say?”

“Yes. I’ll do exactly as you say.” She means it, she thinks. She’ll do whatever the fuck her asks her to at this point—and that fact alone still has her reeling a little.

“Spread your legs.” She lets them fall open without hesitation. “Good and _ wide.” _

She makes a sound she hadn’t even known she was capable of—a pitiful little mewl as he stresses every syllable. 

“Okay,” she answers hoarsely. 

“I want you to tease yourself. Slide the end around your clit—but don’t touch it. Not yet.”

She holds her breath as she does what he asks, slowly sliding the end of the vibe through her slit to tease around little bud of her clit. The setting is too low to actually do anything—just enough to leave her frustrated, her body needing more than just this. 

“How does it feel?”

“I need more,” she tells him honestly. 

“I know you do, sweetheart, but I like the idea of you a little desperate. It makes the end that much sweeter. Don’t you think?”

_ No, _ she grumbles internally. _ No, I don’t think so. _

But even as the thought drifts through her mind, she also thinks that it might not be the entire truth—because the low sound of his voice paired with the maddeningly soft vibrations has her amped up and ready for _ something. _Anything that he might want to give her.

“Imagine I’m touching you, Kira. Press the tip a little lower. Right up against the opening of your cunt—but don’t put it inside.”

She does as he asks—lowering the head of the vibe to catch her entrance and closing her eyes. “Mm.”

“It’s nice right? Nice and easy. Now notch it up to another setting.”

She hits the button, feeling and hearing the toy buzz just a little harder, the vibrations ringing against her and making her wish she could slip it inside.

“Drag it up slow,” he murmurs. “_All _ the way up your slit.”

She moves it much slower than she’d like, both at war with a need to stop this agonizing game and a slave to everything that it’s doing to her. 

“Can I—”

“You can touch it this time.”

It’s still not enough to get her there—but the relief of having _ some _sort of sensation against her clit has her hissing out a breath. 

“That’s it,” he praises. “Feels good?”

“Mhm.”

“I bet you look so pretty—stretched out like you are. I imagine you wet and swollen—_ begging _for me to touch you.” His breath catches in a ragged drag, and through the hazy fog she’s living in right now she notes he sounds a little more affected than last time. “I wonder how many fingers I could fit inside you?”

A moan escapes her just thinking about it—because she knows what his fingers look like now. She’s seen them swallow a pen, felt them against the space between her shoulder blades as he leaned in to look at her paper—the jury is out that even _ one _would fit inside her.

She can’t even think about the implications for _ other _things that may not fit.

His voice breaks through her dizzy daydreaming. “You can turn it up again.”

She doesn’t hesitate, hell—she almost says _ thank you. _ It’s finally something she can work with, and her breath rushes past her lips in a content sigh as she presses the end a little harder against her clit.

“You sound so fucking _ ripe _right now,” he grits out in a tone that is anything but contained. His breath is grating against the speaker as it seems to leave him in a rush, and then there is a clearing of his throat as he gets it under control. “Are you close, Kira?”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I can feel it.”

“I want you to move again. Slip the tip inside yourself. No more than the tip.”

She’s reluctant to pull it away from her clit, but she’s finding she may be getting off to his instructions just as much as the vibe itself. She obeys, bringing it back down to her entrance to let it slip inside easily. She holds it there like he asks, even though she wishes she could push it deeper. That she could feel more _ full. _

But she finds herself waiting for his instruction now. _ Needing it, _ even. It’s positively _ addicting. _

“Does the toy stretch you a little?”

Her mouth falls open, and it’s taking everything she can to maintain that lower pitch in her voice. Desperately clinging to it for fear he might somehow recognize her. 

“A little,” she admits.

“I think I’d stretch you more.”

“_Fuck.” _She can’t help it, she slips the toy out a fraction just to push it back inside where it was. “Yes.”

“I think you’re ready to come for me, sweetheart. You’ve been _ so _ good, Kira. Are you ready to come?”

“_Please.” _

“Pull it out. Right _ now. _Turn it all the way up.”

She does what he asks so fast it seems humanly impossible. “_ Yes.” _

“Press it to your clit. _ Hard. _Don’t stop till you come.”

She drags the bulbous end up the length of her cunt, pressing the slicked tip against the swollen nub of her clit and pressing down _ hard. _ The effect is instantaneous—her back bowing and her mouth falling open—she nearly drops the _ phone _ with the way she’s keyed up. She’s making noises that she knows will embarrass the fuck out of her later, whimpers and whines and God knows what else—and his voice is there. Right fucking _ there. _Just as breathless as she feels and uttering that same stream of filthy praises that she might be getting addicted to.

“Yes, Kira. _ Yes. _ Just like that. Come for me. Come for me right _ now.” _

“_Fuck!” _

Her moan is long and _ obscene _ as her body curls into itself—as it twitches and _ shakes _ . It feels like it takes _ forever _for her to come down from it, sweating and panting as if she’s just run for miles. She can hear his own ragged breath through the phone, and she’s a little too stunned this time to let embarrassment grip her as quickly as it had before.

There’s a _ face _ now. _ Ben’s _ face. And even if he has no idea who she is, for _ her—_it makes the entire thing wildly more intimate. She bites her lip, wondering if she’s wrong, for indulging in this like she is. For letting him do this to her without knowing that she _ knows _exactly who she is. 

She opens her mouth, to say what, she has no idea, and she—

“I hope you call again, Kira,” he murmurs, just quietly enough that she thinks she might not be the only one coming down from something. “Night, sweetheart.”

The line goes dead, and she sits against her headboard for the longest time, still clinging to her phone and the now-quiet vibe in a daze. 

If there’s one thing she’s certain of… her tutoring sessions are going to be a hell of a lot more interesting now.

That’s for fucking sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story, this is the first story where I was writing a scene and got into it and was like, “this is too dirty I need to cut it”—so I cut it and saved it for chapter 3. 🙃


	3. I Want To Hear Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: I tried to make a damn economics lesson sexy. I am definitely no expert in economics. To the secret econ professor/major/enthusaist—just focus on the dick fingers because I care not for the accuracy. 😂❤️

“So how did your date go?”

Rey nearly drops her fork. “What?”

Armie wiggles his brows. “With the ah, _ private _tutor.”

“Oh.” Rey looks down into her plate and tries to calm the racing of her heart. “It was fine. Just fine. And it wasn’t a date.”

“Did you tell him you wanted him to teach you the ways of the flesh next?”

Rey wrinkles her nose. “First of all, ew. Secondly, no. He is the _ tutor_. He will not be teaching me the ways of anything.” 

She doesn’t mention that he’s been teaching her the new meaning of orgasming with just his voice. She can’t even _ imagine _what Armie would do with that information. Probably knit it into a sweater and wear it for the rest of eternity. 

But she _ is _curious about one thing. 

“By the way,” she starts as casually as she’s able. “I was wondering about your manwhore’s side business.”

“You _ have _to realize that insulting Poe like that is also insulting me in retrospect.”

“I stand by what I said.”

Armie snorts, but then it seems to register what she’s said. “Oh my God. The phone thing? I’d nearly forgotten.”

“How in the fuck could you forget something like that?”

Armie shrugs. “Poe can be… very distracting. I mean, you should see his di—”

“I’m begging you not to finish that sentence.”

“Suit yourself. It’s gorgeous though. I have pictures.”

“I would very much like never to see those ever, not once in my life, thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah. So what about it?” Armie’s eyes light up. “Oh my God, did you call?”

Rey feels her face flush. “_No. _ Of course not.” _ Liar. _“I was just wondering how in the hell he got something like that off the ground.”

Armie considers. “Well, it’s my understanding it started with just him and one other friend. Poe had some debts he needed to pay off. They started advertising in just random chat rooms and shit—but now they’re legit. I think he has a dozen people working now.”

“But you don’t know who?”

Armie rolls his eyes. “Nope. Poe refuses to tell me. Imagine. _ Poe _being noble.”

“It’s like seeing an eclipse or a baby being born.”

“He’s not _ that _bad.”

“I stand by what I said.”

Armie shakes his head. “I still say you should call the line. Your poor libido has to be shriveled up and dry like an old raisin. You need to hydrate that poor thing. It’s thirsty.”

Rey’s jaw works, knowing good and well she’s abused herself twice over _ the line. _She makes excuses about needing to study—quickly separating herself from the situation before she says something she’ll regret. At least she has her answer now; there’s no way Armie has any idea that he’d given her the key to Ben’s alter sex god ego, Kylo Ren. 

She shivers just thinking about that voice in her ear, and what’s worse—she is supposed to see Ben tonight for another session after work. Not to mention she still has one more session with… Kylo. 

She swallows thickly, brushing everything out of her mind. 

For now.

* * *

It’s torture, making it to the seven o’clock. 

Every minute that passes she is consumed with worry as to how she will handle seeing him again—and every ounce of it wars with excitement because she’s going to _ see _him again. 

The lines are blurred between Ben Solo and Kylo Ren—between the sweet and shy tutor who had called her pretty and the lewd and rough phone operator who had told her he wanted to lick her until she came. 

She finds she is left just as wanting for both of them. 

More than anything, she would just like to get to the bottom of the change in his behavior. Is Ben the mask, or is Kylo? Is he actually some hybrid of them both? She’s both anxious and eager to find out. 

She’s admittedly put forth a little more effort than she probably should have for a tutoring session, with her little t-shirt dress and her favorite lip gloss—but she imagines it can’t hurt to fluster him a little. Maybe she could entice a bit of Kylo out of him. Maybe she could find out if that’s _ actually _who he is. 

Maybe she could find the courage to tell him she’s been fucking herself to the idea of both of them. 

She pats her hair out of nerves just before a knock sounds at her dorm room door—and she glides her hands over her hips to smooth the soft cotton of her dress before she takes a steadying breath. When she opens the door, she’s glad to have done so, because if not, she thinks she would find herself without any air at all.

Did he somehow get better looking?

His black t-shirt looks like it was molded to fit him, and his dark jeans hug broad hips and thick legs that she wants to settle between. She hardly even hides the way she lets her eyes trail down his body and back up again—met with the little shadow of stubble that wasn’t there before, and she imagines what it would feel like against the soft flesh of her inner thigh. Just as that soft mouth were to—

“You cut your hair.”

She feels her face heat instantly, having not meant to blurt it out. It’s not even an obvious change. If she hadn’t been staring at him so long, she might not even notice it. 

He reaches to brush his fingers just over the bit that doesn’t quite cover the bottoms of his ears now. “Yeah. A bit.”

She averts her eyes. “It looks good.”

“Yeah?”

She has to look at him then. She’s like a moth to a flame over here. He’s smiling. He’s smiling like he _ really _ likes that she noticed. _ Oh. _Okay. She returns his grin with one of her own. “Yeah.”

She doesn’t miss the way his own gaze travels down her figure. “I like your dress.”

_ Don’t swoon don’t swoon don’t swoon. _“Yeah?”

His eyes find hers again to hold them. “Yeah.”

They’re just standing in the doorway, she realizes, and she quickly scrambles out of the way to let him in as a blush creeps up her neck. He’s holding an Econ book and a notebook of his own as well, and admittedly she’s distracted by how both look almost small in his large grip. 

His _ hands. _

_ I wonder how many fingers I could fit inside you? _

She has to suppress a shiver. 

She can do this. 

Hopefully. 

* * *

The session has gone surprisingly well, Rey managing not to make a fool of herself as he summarizes last week’s lesson in a way that makes it easier to understand. She thinks she might even be starting to grasp it better now. 

“How did you manage the worksheet this time?”

She clears her throat, still speaking a lot quieter than she normally would, unsure at this point if she wants to keep her identity a secret or if she’s secretly desperate for him to make the connection. 

“I think it was a little easier, but I’m still struggling a bit with micro vs. macro.”

“That’s okay,” he assures her. “I can help you get it.”

She chastises the little tremor this time. _ That was barely even sexual. You’re reaching, Rey. _

She pulls out the worksheet to let him look it over. His brow furrows as he reads her explanations, relaxing when he seems to catch her struggle. 

“Ah.” He lays down the paper on the desk in front of her for her to see, leaning over her from behind to point at a word problem. “It seems like the problem is you’re thinking of it as big vs. small.”

She’s trying not to think about how close he is to her right now. Trying not to focus on how nice he smells. “Is that not right?”

“In a sense,” he tells her, his voice dangerously close to her ear. “But it’s more like… the whole vs. the part.”

God, his finger is big. She watches it move across her paper, mentally deciding that two would be a stretch. And if two fingers would be a stretch, how big would his—

“Whole?”

“Yes. You’re not wrong. It _ is _ very big—”

Oh, fuck. Can he read minds? Does he know she’s thinking about his cock?

“—but macroeconomics is more about the society as a whole. It’s not about the amount of utility itself, like a dollar amount, it’s focused on the structure of the economy as one entity.”

She’s still hung up on _ it’s very big, _even out of context, but she has to admit that does put it in perspective for her. “That makes sense.”

“Great.” 

She turns to catch his grin, and it lights up his whole face, it makes him look so _ sweet— _did this same guy really tell her he wanted to stick his tongue in her cunt?

She’s a little more breathless than she should be. “And micro… would be… the individual parts?”

“Yes!” He looks so _ pleased _with her. He genuinely likes this job. Why is he getting people off at night? “Here. I actually found this great simplified exercise online. Can you give me your hand?”

“My hand?”

“If that’s okay? It’s just something I saw a video on.”

Can she handle him touching her? Can she handle him _ not _touching her for one more second?

She quietly offers him her hand. 

His palm swallows it up—as the back of her hand rests inside his, and gently urges her fingers to curl into a fist with his own. His fingers are surprisingly soft to be so big. They’d be so soft inside her—

“This is the economy as a whole,” he explains, holding her closed fist. “Regional, national, global… it’s all of it working together.”

She nods just a little shakily. “Okay.”

He opens his fingers to let her fist rest in his palm, and then he uses his thumb and forefinger to ease one of her fingers loose and smooth it out straight. She has to bite her lip to choke down a whimper. 

“This is a family planning a trip to Disney,” he tells her just before reaching for another finger to smooth it out in an equal fashion. “And this is a small business looking to expand.”

He continues on like this, straightening each of her fingers with an example of small-scale economics, until each is laid out wide and her spread hand rests in his. He brings his finger to her palm, tracing the shape of it.

“It’s all still connected to the whole. Like branches. See?”

She isn’t sure if she remembers how to speak properly, with all the touching, _ innocent _touching, mind you, but she manages, “That makes sense.”

“Great.” 

He’s smiling down at her, and she’s pretty sure she’s looking at him like she wants him to kiss her, because she fucking _ does— _ and he’s still holding her hand. He seems to realize this after _ several _seconds tick by, blinking down at his hand holding hers just as the bit of his ears that is visible turns a little pink. He releases her suddenly, and it takes everything she has not to whine in protest. 

Ben clears his throat. “Sorry. Just something I saw that seemed helpful.”

“It was very helpful,” she breathes. 

He stares at her for a second, his brow knitting a bit as he tries to puzzle something out, and she realizes that she’s incredibly turned on right now. There’s no doubt she sounds similar to _ Kira _ in this moment—and if the look he’s giving her is any indication, there’s a bit of recognition going on for _ him _as well. 

Her heart pounds away for an agonizing handful of moments, stuck between _ hoping _ he puts it together and _ mortified _at the idea that he might—but he shakes his head in the end, and his features return to normal as if he’s brushing off whatever thought he might have been having. 

Rey can’t tell if she’s relieved or disappointed. 

“Hey, Rey,” he starts. “Would you maybe want to—”

“So, same time, Wednesday? Would that work for you?”

She blurts this out in a panic, suddenly terrified at the idea of him asking her out—the sudden possibility of him finding out that she’s _ Kira _ too much to handle right now. She immediately regrets her nastiness, the disappointed look in his eyes making her feel like an absolute jerk and the exact _ opposite _of what she wants. 

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “That sounds fine.”

“Great.” She’s sort of wishing she could take it back and find out what he maybe wanted her to do. “I’ll see you then.”

He nods, not really looking at her. “Have a good night, Rey.”

“You too, Ben.”

When he’s gone, and she’s alone, she finds she’s never wanted to kick herself more than she does in this moment. 

But what if he finds out she’s been getting herself off to his alter ego and thinks she’s some sort of pervert? What if he feels violated, and never wants to speak to her again?

She drops her head in her hands, letting out a heavy breath. 

She tries not to think about the fact that she has one more session. She _ definitely _tries to push it from her mind just how addicted she’s getting to them. She knows that she needs to say goodbye to Kylo Ren once and for all. 

_ Yes _, she decides. 

That’s exactly what she’ll do.

* * *

She makes it until Tuesday night. 

Hardly even _ twenty-four _hours later. 

She tells herself that it’s the last time. That she will make this call, and then she will forget this ever happened. She’ll get through the tutor sessions, and the class—she’ll pretend that she never got off multiple times to the voice of Kyl—Ben. 

Even if she’ll probably wonder about what it might have _ actually _ been like to get herself off with just… for years to come. 

But she knows without a doubt, she can never, _ ever _ let him find out she’s Kira. It’s too mortifying to think about. Even if she can’t seem to stop calling this _ motherfucking _hotline.

_ It’s the last time_, she reminds herself. 

She mentally repeats this over and over again even as the phone begins to ring. 

“Hello?”

She heard his voice yesterday, heard it in _ person—_but there’s something about that first rush of anticipation as she waits for his greeting. Something about knowing she’s _ unknown. _ That she can do and say whatever she wants without consequence. That everything happening is purely for _ her _benefit. 

“Hi.”

She can almost hear his grin. “Hello, Kira.”

_ How is it he can remember Kira but not me? _

“Waiting around for me to call?”

“I’ve been waiting around for you to call since Friday night.”

“How did you know I would again?”

“I think we both know you ah, _ enjoy _talking to me.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Oh, it’s absolutely too late for that,” he hums.

“Well, get on with it then.”

“Someone’s in a hurry,” he laughs. “Do you have somewhere to be?”

“I don’t see why we should put it off,” she grumbles. “We both know why I’m here.”

“We do.” He makes that same humming sound that fills her belly with heat. “We’re here because you want me to make you come.”

Her face floods with heat. “Yeah, well.” 

“I really enjoy it, you know,” he tells her. “Making you come.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” she snorts.

“You in particular… sound _ very _lovely when you go over the edge”

She swallows. “Oh, yeah?”

“Mhm. I can’t help but wonder what face you make when you fall apart. What you would look like if it were my cock instead of your hands. I’ve been thinking about it… a _ lot, _Kira.”

There is sweat collecting at the nape of her neck, her skin burning as if it’s suddenly a thousand degrees warmer than it was a few moments ago. 

“Maybe I should be charging _ you _ then,” she attempts to snipe. Between the purposeful way she’s lowering her tone and her overall breathless state—it comes out sounding as anything but. 

“But that’s not what you want. Is it Kira. You want me to tell you how to touch yourself. You want me to tell you _ where _ to touch yourself. You want it to be _ my voice _that makes you tease and torture until you’re shaking with a need for it—and I want to hear you say it.”

“If you think I’m going to—”

“I want to hear it, Kira.”

Her mouth parts, her breath ragged and her cheeks flushed. She shouldn’t be so affected by this. She shouldn’t _ enjoy _ this so much. 

But the throbbing between her legs leaves no argument for just how much she does. 

She can barely manage a whispered: “I do.”

“What was that? Speak up now.”

“I _ do,” _she hisses.

“That’s good, sweetheart.” _ Sweetheart. _ Her cunt clenches—a Pavlovian response to that word. Fucking _ hell, _ that’s good. “That’s _ very _ good.” She whimpers a little, and he doesn’t miss it. “You’re already wet, aren’t you. You haven’t even touched yourself, and I bet you’re _ soaked _just thinking about it.”

She is. She doesn’t even have to touch herself to know. She can feel how wet her underwear already are. How much she _ pulses _ with a need for it. For _ everything. _

“Yes.” It’s all she can get out right now.

“Oh, I like that. I like that _ a lot. _ And you’re going to be good for me, aren’t you. You’re not going to fight me. You know the rules, Kira, don’t you? _ Exactly _as I say.”

“Yes.”

“Good. Do you still have the toy? The pretty pink one?”

“You mean have I gotten rid of it in the last four days?”

“Are you being smart with me, Kira?”

His tone takes on an edge that makes her _ really _want to find out what happens if she says yes, but she’s too keyed up for more teasing right now. 

“No.”

“Good. Get the toy.”

She doesn’t tell him it’s already sitting right next to her—that she’s more than prepared for this little session. She waits for what she thinks is an appropriate amount of time to pretend to be getting it to help pad the ruse.

“Okay.”

“Now put the phone on speaker.”

Her breath catches in her throat. “What?”

“Do it, Kira. Put me on speaker, and sit me down between your legs. I want the phone as close to your cunt as it can be.”

Her entire body is trembling a little. She’s not going to do that, right? Even in her wildest dream she could not imagine something so filthy. She sits there in a daze like some sort of shrine to the god of dildos—her phone clutched tightly in one hand and her vibe just as firmly grasped in the other.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he purrs. “You said you’d be good for me, remember? I want to hear _ everything_.”

Her hands are _ definitely _ shaking as she complies, because there isn’t a single thing on this earth that could make her deny him, she thinks. Not now. Not when she’s this far gone. 

“Okay.”

“Take it off,” he urges quietly, his voice still just as clear and forceful down between her legs as it was right against her ear. “Take it _ all _off.”

She probably sounds like she’s run a marathon with the way she’s breathing so hard. It’s difficult to wriggle out of her clothes with her hands full like they are, but she’s just able to roll off her shorts and underwear before shirking out of her shirt. She’s bare beneath—leaving her completely nude in the cool air conditioning, her nipples already pebbling as the chilled air meets her warm skin.

“I can hear you moving around,” he rumbles from the bed covers. “I can almost pretend I’m watching.”

“You would want to?”

“You don’t think I’d want to see you peeling everything off for me?”

She doesn’t tell him it was more of a _ rolling _maneuver. “Would you?”

“Mm. Turn on the toy, sweetheart. I want to hear it.” She doesn’t hesitate, flipping the switch as it begins to vibrate against her palm. “A little lower,” he instructs. “Not so hard.” She turns down the setting two notches, the loud buzzing dulling to a softer hum. “Good girl.”

She shivers all over. 

“Start slow,” he murmurs. “Tease yourself a little.”

She’s hyper aware of the slick sounds that ring out in the space as she slides the end of the vibrator through her folds. 

So is he, apparently.

“You’re so _ wet.” _

She is. _ Horribly _so. It coats the toy and trickles down below—practically dripping from her as she drags the rounded end up the length of her slit to tease at her clit slowly. 

She bites her lip. “_ Mmph.” _

“Feel good?”

“_Yes.” _

“Tell me what you’re doing.”

“I-I’m—” She presses a little harder. “My clit.”

“Hm. I didn’t tell you to touch there. It doesn’t sound like you’re teasing, Kira. It sounds like you’re trying to rush it.”

“N-no, I just—”

“Turn the setting down,” he demands. “Bad girls don’t get what they want.”

She whines a little even as she turns down the vibration. Holding the end to rest at her pubic bone—inches away from where she actually wants it. 

“Trace the lips of your cunt. Slowly.”

She does what he asks, but it’s _ torture_.

He allows her to do this for over a _ minute— _just listening to the little sounds she makes. “Do you think you can be good if I let you turn it back up?”

“I can be good,” she breathes. “I can.”

“We’ll see. Do it.”

She wastes no time in flicking the power back up, moaning happily as she continues to trace her outer labia with the head of the toy, actually enjoying the sensation. 

“Your cunt sounds so pretty. Do you want more, Kira?”

“_Please.” _

“Circle your clit—but slowly. You know how I want this.”

The vibrations are _ just _enough to tease the little swollen bud, and she gasps as the feeling of it finally allows her some relief from the overwhelming pressure. 

“You’re so sensitive,” he murmurs. “So many _ sounds. _It’s gorgeous.”

“_Ah_.” 

“Take it lower,” he grunts. “I want you to _ tease _ that little hole.” She nearly bites off her own tongue as the filthy words drift up from between her legs. She trembles as she lowers the head to her entrance, pressing against it shallowly to _ just _ease it inside. She hears him release a ragged breath. “Push it in. Fill up that cunt.”

She slides it inside slowly, her inner walls stretching around the silicone as the pleasant hum courses through her insides. She pants a little when she’s full, making little impatient sounds as she feels the need to move. She doesn’t though, holding still and waiting for him to tell her what to do. 

“Draw it out slowly,” he tells her, his voice tight, and his voice still _ wrecked_. “As slow as you can.”

She pulls it out at an agonizing pace, a slick, messy sound emitting from her core, and she _ knows _there is no possible way he can’t hear every bit of it from where the phone is half-pressed against her down below. 

“_Fuck._” His voice sounds a little further away now. Is she on speaker too? “Do you hear that? Fucking _ drenched.” _ She hears the unmistakable sound of a zipper. _ Oh my God. _ Is he—? “Again. Do it again_.” _

She pushes forward to fill herself again, the slow pace only making the soft _ squelch _more pronounced. 

And he sounds nearly as fucked as she feels. 

“I wanted to draw this out,” he grits out. “I wanted you to fucking _ need _ it. But _ listen _to that.”

She pulls it out only to push it back in immediately, and he groans with the wet sound. Somewhere in the back of her mind she wonders if he’s always affected like this—or if it’s just her.

“I wonder if you’d make that same sound if you were full of _ me,” _ he chokes out. She thinks she can hear a slap of skin from his side of the phone—and it only heats her further. “I want that sweet little cunt full of _ my _ fingers and _ my _ tongue and _ my _ cock and I want you to fucking _ scream _with it.”

She closes her eyes and drives the vibe in deep, imagining his big body covering her, the sweat on his skin sliding against her own as he fills her again and again and _ again_. 

She hears him hiss, hears that lewd _ slap _ getting faster. “Fuck, r—” He lets out a shuddered breath. “Really wish I could see you spread out and split open. I bet it’s beautiful. I bet _ you’re _beautiful.”

“Oh, _ God_.”

“Turn it up. Turn it _ all _the way up.”

The difference can be heard, can be _ felt— _the vibrations rocking through her until the entire lower half of her body seems to hum with pleasure as she hits deep inside her, unable to hold back the obscene sounds that fall from her mouth. 

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he grinds out. “Make a mess of yourself. I want you to remember this tomorrow—_fuck, listen to that wet cunt— _ I want you to think about this every time you take a step. I want you to hear me in your _ sleep.” _

“I’m—I’m going to—”

“Come. You fucking _ come. _ ” He’s breathing so hard she can almost imagine she can _ feel _ it between her legs. “I want to hear it. I wish I could _ taste _ it. It’s fucking _ mine.” _

“Jesus, fuck. _ Ben.” _

Her entire body seizes up as her orgasm tears through her—her toes curling and her vision whiting out as she tugs the vibrator out from inside her to press it to her clit and ride that delicious wave of aftershocks. Her mind is nothing but fog and white noise and _ bliss— _ and her chest heaves and her thighs _ tremble _and he—

He is utterly silent.

It’s uncharacteristic of him, not continuing to mutter filthy little things into her ear as she tips over the edge, and for a moment she’s thrown. She’d heard him grunt through what she assumes was just as mind blowing of an orgasm as she just experienced—but there’s nothing now. Just the soft, steady sound of his breathing. 

She stares down at the lit-up screen for several moments as she tries to catch her breath, feeling some awkwardness creep in she can’t quite place.

And then everything hits her all at once. 

_ Ben. _

She’d said _ Ben. _

“Oh my God.”

She ends the call faster than she’s ever done anything in her entire life. Panic coursing through her so thick that it is _ palpable. _ She can feel it in her chest like an actual _ weight. _

Oh, no. Oh, _ no. _

What the fuck has she done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, idk. Ben practically telling a bedtime story directly to her _little hole_ as he so eloquently put it felt filthy to me. I wrote up to him telling her to put him on speaker, and I was like, leapin’ lizards, Courtney that’s awful. Maybe I’m just more innocent than I think I am, because I blushed. 😂 ANYWAY. Wonder what will happen now in the penultimate chapter of a super porny fic in which there’s been no porn yet from yours truly. I bet they play scrabble. Fuckin’ love scrabble. 
> 
> (I’m babbling because I was nervous about this chapter I’m sorry be at peace.)


	4. A Lot To Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It takes Rey a long while to come to terms with what happened. For several moments after she tells herself that there is no possible way she just shouted out Ben’s name while he listened to her fuck herself to his voice. That couldn’t have happened. It’s too horrifying. It _ can’t _have. 

But it did. 

And he’d been so _ quiet _ after. 

Had he been trying to piece together who she could be? Had he _ succeeded? _

_ No_, she assures herself. _ He couldn’t have. _

Anyone could have figured it out. Anyone who has ever interacted with him. His name is no reason to automatically assume it’s _ her. _

She steps into her shower to clear her head, all the while going back and forth between being _ so sure _ he won’t figure it out and _ terrified _ that he already has. Because how would she ever face him again if so? How could she even _ look _at him knowing that she—

Rey contemplates what life might be like in another country. Perhaps somewhere colder, somewhere where her embarrassment can never see the light of day. 

Antarctica is supposed to be beautiful, right?

She takes a lot longer in the shower than necessary. She thinks maybe she is avoiding reality. Thinks that as long as she stands under this warm spray—nothing can touch her. 

But eventually the water runs cold, and so does the overwhelming dread in her belly. She steps out with heavy limbs, still wrought with mortification and nerves and everything else she could possibly feel over something as terrible as this. 

Why hadn’t she just _ stopped calling? _

She’s moved on to stage three of shame some time later, the: _ what about when Armie finds out _stage—freshly dressed and just finishing drying her hair when frantic knocking sounds at her door. She whips around in the little desk chair, eyes wide as she stares at it for several seconds before another round of knocking sounds.

“Rey.”

Oh God. Oh _ God. _

Of course she recognizes that voice. She thinks that voice is permanently embedded into her ear drums at this point. Maybe she can pretend to be asleep. Maybe he’ll just _ go away— _ she only needs enough time to procure a passport and plane ticket and then this problem will be far behind her. What size _ would _she wear in a snowsuit?

“Rey, I’m not going anywhere. Open the door.”

Her lip trembles and her body feels so _ heavy _ with actual _ fear. _ She’s never felt embarrassment like this. Can she ignore him? Will he _ tell _people if she does?

She stands from the desk chair on shaky legs. Every step takes effort—every breath takes just as much. Her fingers curl around the doorknob, shaking more than just a little, but somehow she manages to turn the lock just before twisting the handle. She opens it slowly, peering around the edge as if opening the door to her doom. 

It feels a little like she is.

Ben looks… _ wild. _

There’s no other word for it. He’s sweaty and wide-eyed, and his hair clings to his temples and his chest _ heaves _ like… Did he _ run _here?

Her eyes roam over his disheveled form, distracted for just a moment. “What happened to you?”

His eyes flick down to his current state, brow furrowing as if he’s distracted himself. “What? Oh.” He blows out a frustrated breath. “Parking lot was full. Had to park across the street. And your elevator is out, did you know that? Fucking four flights of stairs, but I—”

He seems to remember why he’s here, mouth hanging open for a moment as he stares back at her, and subsequently _ she _remembers why he’s here—and for a second she considers just closing the door. 

“Rey.”

She swallows, lip quivering. “How did you know?”

“Rey, I—” His jaw works as he seems to struggle with the words. “I always knew.”

Her jaw nearly hits the floor. “_What?” _

He clenches his lips together in a nervous gesture. “Or… mostly.” He shakes his head. “I figured it out after the first time.”

“_How?” _

“Rey… I…” He takes a deep breath. “I have… always been a little attuned to your voice.”

“You have?”

“I never meant to. But after I first noticed you when you started the class I just couldn’t—”

“Wait.” Her brow knits. “That was… _ months _ago.”

He nods slowly. “I know that.”

“So you…”

“—are probably going to hell. Yes.”

“So the whole time you—you _ knew?” _

He huffs out a breath. “At first I thought I _ had _ to be imagining things. I told myself there is no way you’d call the fucking line. And I was… admittedly a lot more excited about your tutor request than I should have been, and I couldn’t even _ entertain _ the idea that you’d actually—” He swallows thickly. “But then when I got here... it was the first time I’d spoken to you directly, and I just… I _ knew. _ I couldn’t make sense of it, but I _ knew.” _

“But you didn’t say anything.”

“I don’t know… I thought you would be embarrassed. You obviously didn’t intend for that to play out the way it did… and I just—I thought you’d never be able to speak to me again if you knew.” 

Her face is still flaming, her bottom lip in danger of bleeding with the way she’s working at it with her teeth. “I didn’t think _ you’d _speak to me again if you found out.”

“What?” He looks _ actually _ perplexed. “Rey, I—talking to you like that—” He swallows thickly. “It should be _ criminal—_how much I enjoyed it.”

She feels her skin heat in a way that is different than her earlier embarrassment. “But you didn’t tell me. You didn’t _ say _anything.”

“Neither did you,” he points out.

“Okay, but… _ You _signed up to do that. I never meant—” She blows out a breath. “I just wish you’d said something.”

He looks down at his shoes. “You were obviously so into Kylo. I didn’t think you would be as into it if you knew it was me.”

She blinks back at him in shock. She’s pretty sure he’s somewhat of a genius—but he’s also a certified idiot. 

“Are you kidding?” Her face heats further, tripping over the words but _ needing _ him to know that he’s _ completely _ off base. “I liked you… _ long _before I ever met Kylo.”

He perks up considerably. “You did?”

“I spent most of the first semester staring at you when you weren’t looking.”

He laughs nervously. “That’s… pretty much how I spent the first semester. Only… with you.”

“How is it _ possible _that this happened to the two of us?”

“Ah. Well.” He scratches at the nape of his neck. “That would be Poe.”

She grits her teeth, her hackles rising. “_Poe?” _

“He might have… known about my ah, crush on you.”

Her belly does a little flip at _ crush— _but she waits for him to finish his explanation. 

“From what I gather, when your friend goaded him into selling a block of sessions… well. He took it as an… opportunity.”

“But you didn’t know?”

He shakes his head. “Not at first. Poe assigns the codes to one of us. The switch program reroutes your calls to the appropriate person based on your code.”

“Fucking _ Poe.” _

“I promise I had _ nothing _to do with it.”

“I believe you.”

“...but I’m not exactly… sorry, either.”

She peeks up at him. “You aren’t?”

“Rey…” He glances up and down the empty hall. “Can I come in? I just… please.”

His hands settle one either side of the door frame, eyes wild and dark and he still looks nearly as wrecked as when she’d first opened the door. 

She rubs at her arm idly. “God, Ben. I’m so _ embarrassed.” _

He takes a step before remembering himself, his hands coming to rest at his sides as they clench into fists. “Don’t be.”

“How can I _ not _ be after I—after _ we— _”

“Rey… I didn’t think—I thought there wasn’t _ any _ possible way you’d ever—but then… you said _ my _ name. Not Kylo. _ Ben. _ I thought… I thought maybe it was _ me _ you wanted. Is it, Rey? Because if I thought”—he takes another step, and Rey doesn’t move away as he rests just inside the door frame now—“that you wanted _ me”— _ he’s inside her room now, and she doesn’t move, doesn’t _ breathe— _ “I would have… _ a lot _to say about that.”

She tries to swallow, but her throat is arid, her tongue a dry, useless thing in her mouth. “You would?”

He reaches out slowly, his fingers just touching one loose curl that frames her face. He twirls it around his finger, jaw working subtly as he nods. “You have… _ no _ idea.”

Her skin hums and cunt throbs and he’s so _ close _ now that she can feel the warmth of him even through their clothes. She’s looking up at him, struggling to breathe with the way he’s just idly teasing the lock of hair around his finger—trying and failing not to home on in the way his mouth looks _ so soft. _ How it would be _ so easy _to press up on her toes and taste it. 

“I tried to ask you out,” he half-whispers. “You stopped me.”

“I was so embarrassed,” she answers breathlessly. “So afraid you’d find out.”

“I always knew. Every time you called I—” He swallows heavily, his eyes dropping to her mouth. “You have… _ no idea.” _

“Don’t I?” The way he’s looking at her… it makes her feel braver than she is. “I heard you, too.”

He reaches behind him—palm flattening against the door to close it slowly. “Did you? Did you hear how I felt, listening to fuck yourself to my voice? Doing _ everything _I asked you to do?”

She hears the click of the lock—some thrumming excitement resonating under her skin. “I don’t think I was alone.”

“No. You weren’t. You still aren’t.” His hand lowers a fraction until his knuckles brushes along her exposed collar bone just above her neckline. “You’re not alone.”

She sucks in a breath—his touch like _ fire _and suddenly every filthy word he’s ever said to her comes rushing back, leaving her weak with want. 

“Ben,” she rasps, trying to speak around the lump in her throat. She’s clinging to a scrap of courage that is spurred on by his heated gaze. “I’ve never come so hard in my entire _ life _than I did talking to you.”

“It’s not even close”—his eyes search hers for permission as his palm slides over her skin to curl around her nape—“to what I want to do to you. To the things I’ve _ thought _about.”

“Tell me.”

She feels a hand pressing against the base of her spine, curving her into his body as another burrows in her hair to angle her neck—his lips so close to her ear that she can feel the warmth of his breath. 

“I think about what you might look like”—she feels his hand teasing at the hem of her shirt, one finger sliding over her fevered skin in a slow back-and-forth—“spread out underneath me. You’re so _ tiny_, Rey. Sometimes it’s almost _ all _ I think about—your little body opening up for me. Taking everything I give it. Sometimes I want to see you split _ open.” _

Her knees buckle a little, but he’s there—holding her up, that voice that she’s only felt the shape of all those nights, now _ solid _ and _ clear _as it resonates against her ear. 

“Tell me you want that, Rey,” he murmurs hoarsely. “Tell me you want me as badly as I want you.”

She can feel him—pressed against her navel even through the denim of his jeans. She closes her eyes as she imagines the way he might have touched himself while listening to her sounds. How much he might _ fill _her if she asks him to.

“I do,” she manages somehow. “I want you, Ben.”

“Oh, _sweetheart,” _he rumbles, making her gasp as she feels every syllable reverberating against her. “Then that’s _exactly_ what you’ll get.”

His words are hard, but the way he urges her to turn her face is gentle, _ seeking— _ and he’s there to meet her as his lips cover hers. Her eyes flutter closed as he attempts to _ consume _ her—mouth relentless and tongue searching and he is _ everywhere _ and she still finds herself wanting _ more. _

Her hands fist in his shirt, struggling to stay upright as he urges her backwards—finally giving up and reaching to pull her into his arms and crush her against his chest. The angle isn’t right for the way she tugs at his shirt, and it’s a little difficult to pull it over his head—but she’s thought about what he looks like under these Henleys for the _ longest _time and she finds in this moment her motivations haven’t changed much.

It gives way just as his legs bump against her bed frame, and she has to break away from him so that she can really drink him in. He’s all hard lines and thick muscle and every inch of him is _ edible _in the way it begs for her mouth to touch and taste. She runs her hands over the hard planes of his chest—smoothing outward to curl around his shoulders and slide down his biceps in what can only be described as awestruck wonder. 

“I have wanted to do that for… the _ longest _time,” she mutters.

She catches his wide grin, dipping a knee onto the edge of her bed as he moves to lay her over the top. “The feeling is mutual.”

She finds he _ does _fit in her bed, but only just. He’s nearly as big as the frame—hovering over her sprawled form as his arms cage her in and his mouth moves over hers with a singular determination to taste as much of her as he’s able. He only moves on to trail over her jaw, down her throat—hooking a finger into her neckline so that he can trace the shape of her collarbone with his tongue. 

“You’re so much softer than I imagined.” He’s going to rip her shirt with the way he’s stretching it—and she can’t even find it in her to care. “I want to see everything.”

His fingers find the edge of her shirt—easing it up slowly as he uncovers every inch underneath. She hears his breath catch as he finds her bare beneath—her nipples pebbling under his gaze as he tosses her shirt aside without even looking. She can almost _ feel _the weight of his gaze as he studies her, and she has to resist the urge to cover herself, to hide herself away from embarrassment. 

“You are”—his jaw clenches and his throat bobs and his _ eyes _are so dark they are almost black—“the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.” He reaches to tweak a nipple, twisting it lightly as she gasps. “I could spend a day just trying to make you come from these.”

“Can you—_ ah.” _He surprises her when he ducks to swirl around the peak with his tongue. “Can you really do that?”

“I might like to try.” His teeth graze her, and she half-cries out when he attempts to suck the entire mound into his mouth. “Your tits are _ perfect.” _

“They’re not, _ mmph”— _his hand cups the swell to bring more to his mouth—“too small?”

He comes away with a loud _ pop _ , flicking his tongue there for good measure. “I want to do _ everything _to these.”

“_Ah. _Everything?”

“My hands”—he gives her another heavy squeeze—“my tongue”—he paints a heavy circle around her nipple with the organ in question—“my _ cock”— _ his hips roll against her, and she can feel the heat of him through his jeans—“_everything.” _

Her back arches as her hands scramble for purchase, her eyes screwing shut as he sucks her _ hard— _cheeks hollowing as he makes the most obscene of sounds. She has to press her thighs together to combat the building pressure there, begging for some sort of relief. 

“Ben.” 

His hands span her ribs—his back arching as he seems content to tease her breasts for the rest of the night. 

“_Ben.” _

He looks up at her just as his tongue flattens over the swollen peak, dark and shiny from the attention of his mouth. “Hm?”

“I need—” She squirms, biting her lip. “I—”

He grins just before turning down his face to place an open-mouthed kiss over her nipple—looking back up at her through his lashes with those dark eyes as he mouths the swell lazily. “Do you need more?”

She shuts her eyes tight. “_Ben.” _

“There’s so much I could do to you,” he says directly against her skin. “So much I _ want _to do.”

“Do anything,” she grinds out. “Do _ something.” _

He licks at her ribs—teeth grazing there just before sealing it all with a bruising kiss. “First I want to taste you.” She can feel him nibbling a path down her side and over her belly—tongue dipping into the hollow of her navel before he presses a kiss just below. “I could hear it—” He rubs the tip of his nose back and forth just above the fabric of her shorts, sending a shiver through her. “Hear how wet you were. Hear the way you _ gushed _for me.” He looks up at her just as his fingers hook under her shorts and underwear, slowly beginning to pull them down. “All I could think about is how much of a waste it was—” He never tears his eyes from hers as he slides it all down her legs, leaving her naked beneath him. “—that I couldn’t catch it with my tongue.”

He finally looks down then, sliding his hands between her legs to gently urge them apart. There’s a lingering bit of nerves that clings to her, feeling exposed and _ open _ under his attention, but the way he’s looking at her, like he’s _ hungry _for this—it makes it hard to feel anything but anticipation. 

He pushes at her ankles to force her knees to bend, sliding her feet all the way up to rest against her ass and leaving her spread wide as he settles between her legs. She tries not to think about just how much he can _ see— _focusing instead on the ragged quality of his breath and the tight grip of his hands. He settles in a way that has his shoulders trapping her legs in place—forcing her to remain open like he wants her even as he lightly runs his knuckle through her slick folds.

“_Ah.” _

“So wet already,” he murmurs. “_So _ much prettier than I imagined.” She watches with wide eyes as he brings the curled digit to his mouth, licking the joint clean as his eyes flutter. “Do you remember?” His eyes drift open to find hers. “I wondered how many fingers I could fit inside you.” Her mouth parts as he reaches to tease her entrance, pressing against it as he eases the tip of his finger in and out of her, and she thinks he is content to remain like this—until he begins to push the entire length of it inside. “You’re already so _ wet _.” She clenches involuntarily around his finger, a soft gasp escaping her. “I think two would be easy.”

That’s all the warning he gives her before he adds another, twisting his hand so that he can fill her up, down to the last knuckle. Even when there is nowhere else to go he pushes _ deeper— _curling his fingers and rubbing against her front wall in a heavy circle. 

“_Ben.” _

“This is what I wanted.” He strokes down the entire inner wall as he slowly withdraws, making her back arch. “Wanted to feel it when you soaked everything. _ Listen _to that.”

She doesn’t need prompting—she can hear the lewd sounds she’s making with every movement of his hands. She’s _ soaked _ , and she knows he can feel it. Can _ see _it. 

It only makes her burn hotter.

He grinds particularly deep, and she feels herself gush a little on his hand as he makes some satisfied sound. There’s an obscene _ shlip _as he pulls completely out of her, and she watches as he flattens his tongue from his palm to the very tip of his index finger to taste her. 

“God, that’s—” His eyes are closed, his jaw _ tight— _ and when those dark orbs find hers again, they almost seem to _ burn. _ “_—sweet.” _

Any other time, she might be embarrassed by the sound that tears from her throat when he first leans in to lick through her folds. She might even be _ mortified_—but his tongue is searing and thick and _ so good _ as it teases her entrance, as he drags upwards in a heavy lap. There isn’t room for anything other than just _ feeling. _ He licks at her like he’s afraid to waste anything he might find there. Like he’s trying to do exactly what he once said he wanted— _ collect _every drop on his tongue. 

It’s _ indescribable. _

His lips tease her labia—sucking softly before licking between them—and he just continues to _ explore _lazily like he wants to memorize every bit of her cunt with only his mouth. 

She feels his thumb press just above her clit—sliding upwards to pull it taut before he closes in to suck. It’s soft at first, one long pull that ends in a slurping sound as he releases it. He peeks up at her from beneath his lashes as he ducks to do it all over, and she feels fingers pressing against her entrance again, sliding inside as he begins to suck in earnest. 

Her back bows from the bed as he drops all pretense—hollowing his cheeks as he fills her with his fingers, curling and stroking until she is reduced to pleading moans that beg for more. She feels the pads of his fingers press firmly against some place inside that threatens to tear her apart, his lips still creating some sort of vacuum-seal at her clit that makes her see _ stars_. 

“Ben. _ Ben. _ Fuck, I—right there. Right _ there. _I’m going to—”

She breaks off into a stream of garbled sounds when he begins to rub inside as if tracing an indelible mark for himself that she’ll feel longer after. His tongue is heavy and his mouth _ relentless _ and the _ sounds _ he’s making in his throat and in his chest—they _ vibrate _ against her clit as the pressure builds and _ builds. _ She hears her own gasps for breath and the little _ pops _ of her toes and it’s all so _ much _ and she’s so _ close. _

She thinks he will release her when she tips over the edge, that he’ll give her some sort of _ reprieve _ from the almost unbearable pleasure that makes it hard to breathe. But when she cries out, her thighs shaking and a slick gush escaping her—he just keeps _ going. _

He withdraws his hands to press his palms against her thighs, _ forcing _ her to keep her legs open as he sucks at her too-sensitive clit. Babbled sounds fall past her lips—but they hardly make sense, intermingled with a steady chanting of his name in a breathless tone until finally she has to _ force _him away with a tight grip on his hair. 

His eyes are glassy and his jaw is slack as he struggles to catch his breath, and his lips and chin are shiny with _ her _ fluids and it does… _ wicked _things to her insides. 

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand—never taking his eyes off her as she slowly unwinds her fingers from his hair. He crawls up the length of her, covering her with his body to kiss her lazily as his wide hand curls around her hip to massage the soft swell. 

The tented front of his pants is heavy, and she thinks it _ must _be painful. She reaches between them to palm him—enjoying the way she can make his large body shudder with only her touch. 

He draws back when she manages to undo his button, watching her face as she works his zipper down. His mouth parts when she slips her hand beneath the band of his underwear, and his eyes close as he pulls his lip between his teeth when her fingers meet steely heat that _ twitches _when she wraps her fist around it. 

He arches his back just a little to duck his head—mindlessly pulling at her nipple with his lips as she works his cock slowly. 

“I’ve thought about you touching me”—his breath catches when she fists the head of his cock just a little tighter with the upstroke—“_ so many times.” _ He tilts his hips to fuck into her fist languidly, tongue darting out to flick at the hardened peak of her breast. “_Fuck, _Rey.”

She’s just able to catch his temple with her mouth, pressing a kiss at a beauty mark there before murmuring against his skin. “I want you, Ben. I want you inside.”

His fingers at her hip go tight—a little shiver passing through him as he turns up his face to look at her. 

“In my pocket,” he grits out. “I have a—”

She shakes her head. She’s been thinking about his body and his cock and just _ him _for far longer than she cares to admit—and never in any of her daydreaming did she figure a condom into any of it. 

“I want to _ feel _you. I’m on birth control, and I’m clean, and if you wanted to we could—”

His mouth covers her, silencing her as gives her a kiss that makes her dizzy. 

“I want to feel you, too.”

“Then you’re…?”

“I’m clean. _ Fuck.” _He grits his teeth, glancing between them where she’s still teasing his cock. “I don’t want to come in your hand, Rey.”

She grins—his tortured expression making her feel a little powerful even as her body is still boneless from the orgasm he’d literally _ sucked _out of her. “Where do you want to come, Ben?”

He makes a guttural sound that ends in a breathy sigh, his lips curling as he lowers to let his mouth brush over hers. “I think you know _ exactly _ where I want to come, _ sweetheart.” _

He swallows the moan that escapes her—and she abandons her teasing to impatiently shove at his jeans to slide them down his thighs. It would be easier to rid him of the rest of his clothes if he would stop kissing her—but neither of them seem to be able to do that long enough to test the theory. 

Her skin feels too hot when he settles back over her—nothing between them but their skin and their collective breaths and the _ heat _that clings to them both. She feels him hard against her thigh, leaving a sticky trail over her skin as he grinds against her. He presses a knee between her legs to part them—and he hisses out a breath as his cock slots against her center, turning down his head to watch as his length slides through her wet folds. 

“_Fuck.” _

“Ben. _ Please.” _

“_Shh_.” His palm reaches to cover her cheek, his forehead resting against hers. “I know, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

He uses a hand to pin her hip to the bed—the other bracing against the bed so that he can watch as the head of his cock catches at her entrance. She feels him press _ just enough _ that the head begins to slip inside, already so _ much _ even though he’s given her so _ little. _

“Wish you could see.” He grunts as he dips in and out of her like a pen to an inkwell. “The way you open up for me. _ Fuck, _ Rey. _ Look at that.” _

He eases just a little further before withdrawing slowly—all the while watching. Every inch is a heady experience—her body stretching around him to invite him in and leaving her so _ full _ even though he isn’t fully _ inside _ her yet. 

“You’re so _ tiny_.” He groans as he pushes deep. “It’s like I’m _ splitting _you.”

She feels every bit of the delicious slide when he withdraws again—_ finally _finding her eyes to watch her face as he lingers with only the head inside. She feels his hand gliding over her belly, up her ribs, lingering at her breast to let his thumb flick her nipple—finally finding its way to her face to cup her jaw. His thumb draws back-and-forth there, sliding further to trace her lower lip. 

“This is what I thought about most,” he tells her, letting his thumb _ just _ dip inside her mouth to press against her tongue. “What your face might look like. What expressions you might make”—he pitches his hips forward, no longer holding back as he fills her and _ fills her— _ “when I fucked you.” Her eyes flutter as he gives her everything, rooting deep until his pelvis is flush with hers, so _ full _ of him that she can feel him _ everywhere. _ “It’s _ so _ much better than I imagined, Rey.” He lets his head loll to rest against her shoulder, his breath ghosting against her bare skin. “_Everything _about you is better than I imagined.”

She moans when he rolls his hips—sliding out only to push back inside in a heavy stroke. Her arms curl around his neck, holding him as close as she’s able to. He finds her hips again to hold her there—tugging her up to meet each thrust that grows in rhythm until he’s rolling into her at a pace that leaves her breathless. 

“Tell me how it feels,” he rasps. “Tell me how _ you _feel.”

“Don’t stop,” she begs. “_So good, _Ben.”

“It’s better than anything I’ve ever felt,” he groans. “I could _ live _ in your hot little cunt. Fucking _ perfect.” _

She can feel him so deep that he bumps up against her cervix—jolting her body deeper into the bed as he ruts mindlessly now. She feels his hand press between her hip bones, and the pressure of it makes her cry out because _ how _ is she so _ full? _

“I can _ feel _ myself here.” He presses just a little harder, letting his thumb dip down to roll over her clit and make her gasp. “Do you feel that?”

“_Yes.” _

“Are you close? Tell me what you need.”

“Keep touching me like that,” she hisses, and when he thumbs her clit just a little harder: “_Yes_.”

“Want you full of me,” he says tightly. “Want you full of me for _ days.” _

“Yes. _ Yes, Ben. _ Just like that. _ Right there right there—_just like—”

When her cunt flutters with a second orgasm, it’s like clenching around steel—simply no room left as she quivers around him. Ben’s hips move impossibly faster through it—pounding into her so roughly that she can hardly _ breathe _ and she’s still _ shaking _ even as he’s still _ moving. _When his breath is reduced to little more than choked grunting, and his too-large body begins to tremble—she turns her face into his throat to lick at his pulse point, drawing out a sharp gasp just as warmth floods inside her. 

Ben comes much louder than she does—half-shouting in a stream of chokes expletives and garbled words and she’s half-sure her floor mates will hear through the walls but at this point she doesn’t even _ mind. _ She runs her hands over his shoulders as he empties deep inside her, smoothing down his spine as far as she can reach as he shivers beneath her touch. She can feel actually _ feel _his cum gushing inside her—filling her to the point that it begins to trickle out around his cock that is still rooted deep. 

It’s several moments before he collects himself enough to push away from her body—watching as he slowly draws out of her with a wince. She thinks at this point there is little more he can do to shock her—but then his thumb presses just below her entrance, slowly drawing upwards to press the leaking bits of him back in as his thumb dips just inside. 

He doesn’t allow her time to process this—immediately rolling against the wall behind her bed and pulling her back against his front as he wraps his arms around her. His warmth is a solid weight behind her, and it’s easy to settle into him. His lips trail lazily over her shoulder, up her throat—even mouthing at the soft lobe of her ear as his thumb trails back-and-forth just over her ribs. 

“I want to do that at least one more time before I let you sleep,” he hums against her skin. 

_ She might actually be okay with giving up sleeping altogether if that’s what she gets out of it. _

“Show off,” she says instead, smiling to herself as she tucks her feet between his legs.

He plants a heavy kiss at the base of her neck—nuzzling there as he pulls her a little tighter. For a while she’s content to lay like that, heart still beating a heavy tattoo beneath her breast as her body struggles to come down from what she’s just experienced. But as her breathing slows, and her skin cools—she finds her mind begins to wander.

“Do I even want to know how you got into your, ah, business?”

She hears him chuckle. “It’s not as sordid as you might think. It started out as a favor to Poe… but then it was just easy money.”

“Do I want to know how you got so _ good _at it?”

“Also not as sordid as you think. You’d be surprised what you can learn from made-for-women porn and well-written erotica.”

“Is it weird that I find it sort of hot that you’re as hot as you are because you _ studied _hard?”

“You think I’m hot?”

She nudges an elbow in his gut, and he huffs out a laugh. 

“I think I’d like to trade in my late-night escapades for more… real activities going forward.” His hand splays over her ribs as his teeth graze the skin column of her throat. “I think there’s a better use for my skills.”

“I, _ ah—” _ His lips suction to her throat, and she wonders how it is physically _ possible _that her skin could already be flushing in anticipation of more. “—I could get behind such a venture.”

“I would much rather”—he pulls her flush against his pelvis—“be _ behind _such a venture.”

She sighs airily as his lips and hands continue to wander. “Don’t forget, somewhere in all that… you still have to teach me how to pass economics somehow.”

“Sweetheart,” he chuckles against her skin, “I want to teach you all _ sorts _of things.”

Rey turns her face, her lips brushing over his even as he rolls to cover her with his body—and she thinks to herself that she wants that, too. 

Rey thinks to herself that she wants every single bit of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
Whew boy this got away from me  
🥴


	5. And What Do I Want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty short and sweet, but every chapter thus far has been long and filthy so it probably evens out. 😂💕

“Are you almost here?”

“I’m just around the block.”

“I’m going to order for you.”

“And how do you know what I want?”

“I like to think of myself as an expert of things you want.”

“Mm. And what do I want?”

“Besides me?”

“That’s a given.”

“Well, I think you might _ really _like—”

Armie lets out an exasperated breath, slapping his hand on the table. “For the love of all that’s holy can you _ knock it off?” _

Rey cocks an eyebrow at her friend, her lips curling at his annoyed expression as she tells Ben she’ll see him in a minute. She hangs up the phone, setting it on the table as Armie shakes his head.

“If I thought I’d have to endure the two of you subjecting me to your physical and verbal pawing at each other all the time—I might not have set you up.”

“Excuse me?” 

Poe takes the opportunity to look up from his phone where he’s been happily ignoring the conversation. Rey finds its easier hanging out with the pair of them now, and she even thinks that perhaps Poe isn’t nearly as terrible as she first thought. Not that he still isn’t a deplorable dudeslut by any means, just a more… tolerable one. But perhaps his involvement in her and Ben getting together has something to do with that. 

He’s staring at Armie now, brow furrowed and mouth pursed. “You didn’t set them up.”

“I bought her the sessions.”

“Yes, but _ I _assigned her to Ben—”

“You wouldn’t have even gotten the idea if I hadn't bought the session. Which I still can’t believe I had to _ pay _for by the way.”

“—and might I add I diverted all his other calls to someone else as well? Because that was brilliant.”

“I’m just saying that if it hadn’t been for _ me, _none of this would have—”

She’s distracted from their lover’s spat when a large hand curls over her shoulder, turning up her face to meet Ben’s mouth as he leans over her chair at the cafe. He kisses her for longer than is appropriate for the setting (Armie doesn’t even notice with the way he’s still arguing with Poe), and then slides into the seat beside her to sling his arm over the back of her chair. 

“Are they at it again?”

“Same old argument. Which came first, the porn line or the payment?”

“Ah.” She feels his thumb tracing back-and-forth across her shoulder. “Funnily enough, I agree with Poe.”

Armie chooses this moment to acknowledge Ben’s arrival. “Not you, too.”

Ben shrugs. “Or maybe I just enjoy watching the two of you bicker.”

Poe reaches for his drink, taking a long sip from his straw. “It’s all the same to me. He gets horny when he’s irritated.”

“Excuse me.” Armie smacks his shoulder. “That’s none of their business.”

“Please.” Rey snorts. “This is coming from the person who spent an entire Lyft home from a concert _ heavily _making out with his boyfriend.”

“A lot of people do that.”

“_Not while I’m sitting in the same backseat.” _

“To be fair, I thought you were asleep.”

“I literally reminded you I was there _ twice _ before I gave up, climbed up front and resigned myself to share the moment with a very uncomfortable Lyft driver.”

Armie shrugs, falling silent even as Poe gives him a smirk before turning his attention on Ben, leaning over the top of the table with an excited expression. “By the way, are you sure you don’t want to come back in? It’s almost Valentine’s Day. You know we make a killing during this season.”

Ben shrugs. “I told you, I’m hanging up my hat.”

“I don’t know if _ hat _is appropriate,” Rey laughs. “Maybe put away your tongue?”

“I know a place where I can put my tongue,” Ben murmurs.

Armie huffs. “Oh, for _ fuck’s _sake we are eating!”

“We haven’t even ordered yet,” Rey points out. She grins up at Ben. “You know, in four months I haven’t found a single thing about you that I love more than the way you allow me to deal out well-deserved payback.”

“Really?” He leans in a little closer. “There’s _ nothing _you love more than that?”

She taps a finger to her chin. “Hm. Nope. Can’t think of anything.”

“Really.” His hand curls around her shoulder to pull her closer, his mouth hovering just beside her ear. “Because I could think of a few contenders.”

“I don’t recall,” she shrugs. “Maybe you should remind me.”

“I don’t think I would have any objections to that,” he murmurs, ducking to let his lips brush along her throat. “I’ve got plenty of time.”

She feels a shiver pass through her just as Armie scoffs loudly. “_One _ meal. I’m asking for _ one _meal where you don’t maul each other.

Rey laughs, trying to cover it with her hand but failing. “I don’t know,” she mutters back to Ben, pointedly ignoring her exasperated friend. “It might be hard to find something I love more than this.”

She can’t see his smile, but she can _ feel _it against her skin, a pleasant hum sounding in his throat as his finger trails over her bare arm. “We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for following this filthy little story and allowing me to really dig deep into my dirty talk kink! 😘💕

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kylotrashforever)!  
I made a [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/KTF_Reylo), come follow me!


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